(picture snappied by rahool)
I am currently considering something:
If an exclamation mark is an upside down i, is a question mark (eg. ?) an upside down, captain-hook-styled hook, hovering over a very miniature dwarf planet?
If this is indeed the case, does that mean we have to introduce galaxy-based/piratey laws into our grammar world? Though no precedent was set with the exclamation mark, it is felt that the question mark is quite a different kettle of fish. My good friend Terry informed me that the upside down i, or !, could never have posed the question of galaxy-based/pirate relations, as from the very onset the symbol was quite obviously identified as a small twig hovering over a beetles nostril (or a beetles nostril hovering over a twiglet if viewed the other way).
If galaxy based/piratey laws were introduced into our grammatical world, a great many things would be affected. In particular, all sentences that ended in a question mark would obviously have to begin with a definitive 'aghhhhrrr', whilst all words within the questiony montage would have to end in 'alaxy'.
For example, the statement:
"How does you sensible dress shirt fit, sir?" would become:
"Aghrrrrrrrr howalaxy doesalaxy youralaxy dressalaxy shirtalaxy fitalaxy, siralaxy?"
The exact date when such laws would be implemented into the grammatical/english speaking world remain hush-hush. Most likely, they would coincide with the actual occurrence of 'dwarf planet/hook = ? theory' being proven....but lets face it, that could be any day now!
So start practicing your galaxy/piratey based talky stylings a.s.a.p. Start a facebook page to encourage others to do the same, or host a night where you swap favorite ways to say "aghhhrrr"! If you're feeling particularly advantageous start re-writing all the questions in your favorite novels to adhere to new galaxy policy. Make sure you keep the changes documented in a scrap book to show friends when they come over (they also make a rad gift idea).
* * *
Aghrrr I'malaxy aalaxy bitalaxy ofalaxy aalaxy dickalaxy headalaxy, aren'talaxy Ialaxy?
No comments:
Post a Comment